34. Work with the greatest defilements first.

The “defilements” in this slogan are my habitual patterns, neuroses, or wherever I’m stuck. Now is the time to work with my biggest obstacle. If I start where I’m most stuck, such as hatred or anger or self-loathing, I can begin to make friends with the parts of myself that are most difficult to accept.

When I was a student at Naropa University, in one class I had the assignment to keep a journal about my experience of one of the three root kleshas. The root kleshas are the three poisons from Slogan 9: passion, aggression and ignorance. I chose aggression, specifically anger, as the topic for my investigation.

I chose anger because for much of my life up to that point I struggled with angry reactivity when things did not go my way. Over the course of many weeks, I kept track of all the times I had an angry reaction. When it came while driving, I would even pull over to the side of the road to write it down. After a while I became very familiar with the cycle of reactivity. I started recognizing the growing reaction sooner and sooner in the cycle. Eventually I discovered I could “catch” the reactivity fairly regularly, allowing it to dissolve before it could really catch fire.

I remain grateful for the assignment, as it helped me transform one of my most challenging habitual patterns. Even now, decades later, angry reactivity is no longer a big part of my experience. The longer I practice, the more able I am to work with more and more subtle experiences of reactivity. These days I attend to the little sparks, rather than the great conflagrations of years gone by.

11.2025