28. Don’t misinterpret.

This slogan invites us to differentiate between the genuine and idiot forms of compassion, patience and generosity. The idiot form of each quality, which we could also call “neurotic” or “habitual” or “conditioned,” is based in fear, keeps me grounded in my comfort zone and creates separation from my experience. It is what I do when I am scared to let others know that I don’t know WHAT to do. The genuine form, however, arises when I am willing to step into unknown territory, to give up ground and leave my comfort zone. While I may not know what to do and may feel very shaky about this step, I’m much more likely to be open and available to the situation when I step into the unknown.

As an example of this differentiation, let us consider the idiot and genuine forms of compassion. Idiot compassion is actually in some part based in the desire to relieve my own discomfort. Sound familiar? I’m “transferring the ox’s load to the cow,” as described in Slogan 18. When presented with someone else’s suffering, I might give advice, sympathize, react or respond in a way that worked in the past. Genuine compassion, on the other hand, begins with just being present with the person in front of me, receiving them just as they are. I let go of knowing what to do and even of the idea that there IS something to do. I refrain from taking responsibility for the quality of the other person’s experience and recognize that what’s happening is just about them. I can also trust that the situation itself is just as it must be, given all of the causes and conditions that have led up to it.

At the same time, I am also present to my own direct experience. I notice any sensations, thoughts or impulses to act that arise. I let these be and return my attention to the person in front of me. This of course may be uncomfortable to me, especially if I am closely connected to the other person or if I perceive that their suffering is somehow related to something I said or did. When and if I do finally speak, what I say is more likely to be helpful than if I had immediately responded in a habitual way.

Another way to consider the meaning of the word compassion is by examining the word itself. Compassion comes from the Latin com passus, which literally means “to suffer with.” Turning next to Sanskrit, we find that the word most commonly translated as “suffering” is dukkha, literally meaning “bad axle hole.” Given the timeframe when these teachings were first presented, I imagine the axle is probably attached to a wooden cart wheel. Thus a “bad axle hole” is one that is not centered on the wheel, is irregularly shaped or in some other way prevents the wheel from rotating smoothly and consistently. Such a situation would then produce a bumpy ride for the cart. This bumpy ride is suffering.

Thus, when I am willing to come along on someone else’s bumpy ride – without trying to smooth it out or jumping off – I am practicing genuine compassion.

Because my conditioning is so deep, it is not always easy to remember that I am not responsible for the quality of other people’s experience. To help me remember this, and then to cultivate genuine compassion, I can recite this mantra:

• It’s not about me;
• I don’t have to figure anything out;
• And there’s nothing to fix, anyway.

11.2025