12. Liberate yourself by examining and analyzing.

The first difficulty is “seeing neurosis as neurosis” or “recognizing your habitual patterns.” In practice, this is actually very straightforward: I simply pay attention to what I think, say and do. Then I assess if I am grasping what I like, rejecting what I don’t like, or ignoring something I don’t care about. When I notice one of these “three poisons” (remember Slogan 9 from the section on relative bodhicitta?), it’s a sure sign of neurosis or a habitual pattern.

The difficulty comes in meeting these repetitive patterns, over and over, with gentleness and acceptance. Can I cultivate the capacity to just see what I’m doing, time and again, without judging myself for it or becoming discouraged? Can I accept even the experience of self-judgment or discouragement as just what it is, without rejecting even that? One strategy is to greet the pattern as an old acquaintance, even saying out loud “there you are!” or “welcome back, my friend.” Some of these guests may be harder than others to welcome with kindness and care.